Lesson for a New Author: Check the Price Tag First
In recent months I have traded spreadsheets for a dictionary. My realization that I wanted to write ran parallel to the realization that my arms were too full to pick up a pen. Finding the time required stepping away from my career in finance.
Now that writing is my current occupation, I find that an emerging author needs to know more than just how to arrange words on paper. The first lesson in my budding career was this: Check the Price Tag First.
In November 2023, I reached a milestone of completing more than half of the draft of my first book. After a full month of capturing my own thoughts, the idea of getting some outside opinions appealed to me.
I’m writing on the topic of Jewish Unity. In this vein, I reached out to some celebrities who have spoken publicly since October 7 on the topic. Two responded right away. By right away, I mean, that they exceeded my expectations for a celebrity response. Certainly, I’m not suggesting an immediate “response upon Read,” like the standards we hold those closest to us to. But given the circumstances, I was very pleased.
One response came from a well-known actor. If I told you his name, you would likely recognize it. To protect the not-so-innocent, I will call him Joe. I’m assuming that my interaction was with the actor but I can’t be certain. For all I know, the actor’s agent could have been texting me while Joe was busy getting his weekly man-icure. In any case, the unverified person texting me represented himself as the actor.
My hope when requesting the interview was to get some clarification on Joe’s public comments and, in addition, to ask him some questions about the future. I first reached out to Joe on Wednesday, November 29, and he responded on Sunday, December 3 with an “Okay” to a 30-minute interview. When that string of four letters surfaced in the conversation, I can’t tell you which it stirred quicker – my racing heart or the thoughts in my head.
After a few short texts to work out scheduling, Joe agreed to an interview on Tuesday at 3pm. That gave me just under 48 hours to gather as many facts as I could about the actor’s life and prepare my list of interview questions. Since the internet was my principal source for information, I had the extra effort of sorting out fact from fiction.
On Monday, I texted Joe the Zoom link and confirmed the interview time for the next day. In response, the actor asked for additional Private Personal Information (PPI) from me, which I provided. I thought he needed the PPI to verify that I was a legitimate author. I later learned that his bent was toward a different type of PPI - the Producer Price Index.
If you live inside the Capital Beltway, you can verify that, generally, we who live in the DC Metro area don’t have a lot of white space on our calendars. It’s an unenforced but much embraced local tradition. We don’t have porch swings where we sit with grand hopes of adding an entry into our daily planners. Seizing work or appointments or interviews demands advanced juggling and flexibility skills. How else could we squeeze new events into our already jam-packed calendars? Perhaps only Circ de Soleil performers could surpass Washingtonians in balance and agility.
Consistent with the regional renown, I had found a way to make the interview timing work. On Tuesday, at the agreed upon hour, I texted Joe the meeting link a second time, letting him know that I had joined the virtual meeting. He had been waiting for me on the other end of the text. Is it possible that in one hand he held his phone and in the other hand he held a Trenti iced coffee with twelve pumps of sugar-free vanilla, 12 pumps of sugar-free hazelnut, 12 pumps of sugar-free caramel, 5 pumps of skinny mocha and a splash of soy with the coffee filled to the star on the siren's head, double-blended, with light ice?
“I Can’t do that I’m not paid for that yet Lisa”
I stared at the message bubble for a long moment, not quite sure how to interpret it. I read the text again, and then a third time, searching for the meaning. If I can count my blessings from that moment, it’s that awkward silence does not feel awkward in the texting world.
Finally, one brain cell connected with another to uncover the mystery: the actor was asking me to pay him for the interview. Dear reader, if you saw that coming, your street smarts outperform mine. I can honestly say that the thought had not occurred to me.
Had he planned this all along? Couldn’t he have had the courtesy to mention his fee on Sunday before my preparation time? Did this actor think that by agreeing to the interview for a couple of days, he increased my investment in the engagement and therefore his chances for making a few extra bucks? Suddenly I had a new appreciation for Saks Fifth Avenue. At least the prices are clearly marked in retail stores.
Wouldn’t this be like your neighbor agreeing to feed your cat while you go away on an overnight trip and then mentioning the bill as you are giving Fluffy a goodbye face nuzzle?
I would be lying to you if I said that I’m sad because no Jewish unity resulted from this close encounter. Although the interview bunked, I learned an indispensable lesson about checking the price tag first. I include this experience in my Hazing for Writers Manual.
One day, when people call me for interviews, I’ll remember what to do: I’ll display the price tag first. This way, I can avoid the blundering possibility of potential interviewees copying and pasting the words above into a review about me.